My Boss...My Hero

I love my boss! He's my inspiration!

We were having our weekly b..., I mean, sales meeting at the start of our fiscal year a couple of months back. He announced that we had set a record; that was our best year ever.

He said, "We'll never do that again." Then moved on to whatever the next topic might've been at that time.

What a great leader of men! Wow!

Stupid People and their Stupid Dogs

People say that we pick dogs just like ourselves. I think that their is quite a bit of truth in that, but, even more so, we pick our dogs the way we imagine ourselves.

Personally, I own a Basset Hound. His name is Mac. He is gentle, lazy, good with kids, lazy, loud at times, lazy, wary of strangers, lazy and is generally useless. Did I mention, lazy? Yes, Mac and I have much in common.

On the other hand, I see energetic people with terriers, organized people with setters and country people with other hound dogs. It's not hard to see why different types are attracted to different breeds.

Still, I see lots of wimps, losers and veritable white trash with highly aggressive dogs they try to pass off as pets. You know, Rottweilers, Pit Bulls, bulldogs of various sorts and sometimes, Dobermans. The owners of these "fighting" dogs generally seem to have delusions of grandeur that are far above the pathetically below average existence that they often endure. Usually, their choice of canine is no more than a compensation tactic for deficiencies they likely have elsewhere.

I see sad little people with these potentially vicious dogs claiming them to be even family members. They drone on and on about how good they are with the children. They yack about how they play and romp even with their toddlers and are cheerful and never have even threatened their masters' offspring. They even brag about how they are protective of the little two-legged pals. (They don't notice that all their talk about "protective" is an allusion to the dogs' potential for violence.) Would you not keep a violent family member at a distance from your loved ones?

I subscribe to the local paper and keep up with the local news and, on a more or less regular basis, read or see reports about dog attacks on an adult or child. Mostly, this, of course, ends in the death of the victim and, as it should, the death of the attacking dog.

Now, in all the attacks I've read about or seen on the news, I've yet to read or see a head-line that says, "Child Killed in Vicious Basset Hound Attack!" Nope, not even one time in my fifty years have I heard, read about or seen a Basset Hound attempt to harm anyone. They are one of the loudest dogs, especially considering their short stature, and are excellent trackers, but the man must have been considering their breed when he said, "His bark is worse than his bite."

Many will argue that it's nurture, not nature that makes the "fighting" dog violent. I agree that this is a part of it. No one could imagine Michael Vick throwing a Basset Hound into a pit with another dog for the sickening thrill of seeing them rip one another to shreds. Yet, too many of these people are picking these breeds for their aggressiveness, size and as a means of protection. So, they are de facto admitting to their nature and history of violence.

How many times have I seen the after-the-fact interviews where some toothless wonder says, "I don't understand. He was always so gentle with the children. He was our pet." For example the one woman who left her toddler in the bedroom with the child while she slept. The dog made short work of the child and no one knows yet what set the dog off. Also, my neighbor, who made the local news when their pit bull did in their grandchild who got too close to her pups. They only took their eyes off the child "for a minute" they sickeningly bemoaned. Sheesh!

Sure, if you own a junk yard or a meth lab, I'm sure you need an aggressive dog to do cheap guard duty. Shepherds and such make great police dogs. Any dog has it's value when used in the proper venue. All animals, when treated with respect to their needs and potential dangers are safe. Sometimes, only safe at a distance. God never intended for lions, tigers or bears to be family pets.

My father was an avid fox hunter. Who could tell you more about dogs, especially fox hounds, than you wanted to know. It was amazing to listen to these dogs follow their nature, howling through the hollows of East Tennessee chasing foxes and, to Dad's chagrin, the occasional deer.


Obviously, most of these aforementioned dogs never hurt anyone. They go their entire lives making their owners happy and many are good-looking, well colored animals. I understand the Dog Whisperer says there are no "bad" dogs and he understands that he has to train the owners even more so than the dogs. Yes, it usually is the problem of an owner who rears his dogs no better than his children. Amazingly, people who can't control their kids think they can control their animals.

Dogs are more like guns than anything. They are useful, beautiful, sometimes loud and potentially extremely dangerous, but when treated with the respect they deserve, are completely safe. You wouldn't stand on the business end of a loaded weapon or let your child play with it. Neither should you let your child play with a dog that could do at least as much damage as a mishandled gun.

Dad understood that dogs have nature than can be tuned and molded to man's needs and desires, but they would always be what God made them: animals. Nothing more, nothing less.

Moral Truths...Good Advice

Here's another list of what I think are undeniable truths. Maybe I'll have even more later? (These are not necessarily in order of importance.)


1. Be respectful to people who lift things for you.

2. Don't abuse your rank or privilege.

3. Always memorize something: scripture, poetry, songs, etc.

4. Be patient with elderly ladies.

5. Make music...not just on the radio.

6. Love to read...almost anything will do.

7. Count your blessings.

8. Remember, just because someone doesn't argue with you, doesn't mean that person agrees with you.

9. Listen to your children's stories.

10. Don't expect more loyalty than you give.

Pirates, Soldiers, Punks & Wannabees

OK, so if you've been in the Special Forces, or, at least, in the Armed Services, you might, might rate a tattoo. Perhaps, even if you've been in jail and got one of those "jailhouse" tattoos, that might make some strange sense. Yet, I see what are nothing more than punk wannabees, struttin' their stuff in sleeveless shirts, shining taboos that any little wimp can get for $50 or $100 at any bacteria filled tattoo shop.

O.K., so if you've crossed the equator for the first time on a pirate ship, you might rate wearing an earring. Maybe, if you're a guy trying to send signals to your boyfriend, then that might even qualify you for one. Yet, I see, what are nothing more than punk wannabees, struttin' their stuff with their little earrings, nose rings, eyebrow piercings and, who knows what else pierced, like they are just the cutest or toughest whatever on the planet.

O.K., so if you're an out-of-work vagrant who hasn't earned a red cent in years and you just don't have the money to buy new clothes and you generally get yours out of the dumpster rather than off the rack, you might qualify to have your pants falling down around your knees. Yet, I see, what are nothing, apparently, more than bum wannabees shuffling around with a cell phone in one hand and holding up their pants with the other thinking they are the "hippest cats" on the planet.

O.K., so if you look like Britney Spears, (or at least, how she used to look,) and you want to go around half-dressed, you might get away with that. On the other hand, if your "muffin" is hiding the giant-size belly button piercing that you are so proud of and it can't be seen even when you're wearing a mid-drift, you might not have the sex-appeal you think you have.

O.K., so I'll never be on the cover of "Vogue" and I'm no fashion plate. I suppose I've never been much of one to follow trends and have always been happy "in my own skin." Sadly, these days, modesty is virtue that is forgotten in a world that has forgotten the word "virtue."